Dating within your church
But real love doesn’t have to be “proven” that way. It requires two people to respect each other and make sacrifices.If a guy and a girl are really in love, they would certainly not ask each other to assume the risks that go with teenage or premarital sex. It’s one thing for a couple to say “I love you, let’s have sex.” That’s not commitment. Well, the letters are already pouring in from University of Iowa students with more questions based on my talk.So, let’s say you’re at a bar on a Saturday night (and as I’ve said in previous columns, bars are probably not the best place to meet a like-minded mate, but hey, you’re young and want to have fun, so let’s be practical.) First thing you want to do is watch how much alcohol you consume.Getting drunk is a surefire way to make bad decisions.Here’s what I’d say: Marriage involves a total commitment before God, your community and your family. But when you get married, you are assuming responsibility for what happens in your relationship—and what happens when you have sex. One guy wrote me saying that he recently broke up with his girlfriend because she was pressuring him to have sex.He wanted to have sex, too, but he believes a couple should wait until marriage.
Too often, a girl is convinced to have sex as the only way to prove her love.
“Does the Church think it’s better to lead a chaste life and that marriage is just a second-best option?
” This is an excellent question—and one that I think a lot of people are confused about.
Second, it shields you from someone who just wants a one-night stand.
If they don’t want to have coffee with you in 12 hours but they wanted to have sex with you right then, you made the right choice.So as last night rolled around I had dozens of excellent questions and possible topics to discuss.In a nearly-packed room in the basement of the Newman Center (and with Daily Iowan reporters there taking notes and snapping my picture) we had 90 minutes of questions, answers and discussion.And there are all sorts of “reasons” not to wait, it seems.