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03-Mar-2017 17:01

You don’t not like the person…think…I mean there wasn’t necessarily a spark…but not not a spark? …and god, you should like this person, there was nothing wrong with this person, this person is, on paper, the definition of everything you claim to want…maybe another chance? Another dinner, another movie, another perfectly acceptable make-out session where you can’t tell if it’s the person you’re turned on by, or merely the act of kissing. How do you know when you should stop seeing someone, and when you should give it just a little bit more of a chance? How you develop chemistry with another person is a mystery, but it certainly doesn’t happen when you’re dreading the thought of another date. If you find that you frequently react to the idea of dating with stress or anxiety, it’s probably something you want to get to the bottom of, sooner rather than later. What you don’t want to do is lead anyone on, or continue to date someone you feel uncertain about if you think they might be developing stronger feelings for you.It’s not going to happen with this person, so save yourself the stress (and save them the trouble) now. But if that’s not the case, then there’s no reason not to continue to date someone casually, so long as you’re having a nice enough time.The only work you have to do is to make sure you are your best self and get to a place where you can give and receive love.No amount of plotting or analyzing will change whether you and someone else are compatible. The dating process is more of a discovery process to find out if it’s there.If you enjoy the other person’s company, what’s wrong with having someone to go out to dinner with, someone to see on the weekends? Just be honest about your feelings (aka don’t act as if this is going to turn into a relationship if you’re sure it’s not.).

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You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. I have been guilty of stressing over past relationships. Things started out fun and light, I got excited about the possibilities…and then became scared that my imagined future wouldn’t come to be…and then panic set in.According to BM on YT we are undesirable, masculine women who don't deserve love and only want to fight. We can't get no longer get along so why subjugate ourselves to the torture? We are all fat, ugly, loud, uneducated, and thug wanting hoes.In my article on why guys suddenly lose interest, I discussed how caring too much or stressing over your relationship can irreparably damage it. When you eliminate the care (or worry or stress or whatever you want to call it), you are free to really be in the relationship. Realize stressing gets you nowhere First, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever.

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The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. You can see the other person for who he is and you can give yourself to him freely – no strategy, no game-playing, no manipulation. You can just be and there is no greater feeling than that. How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and alarm bells? It causes problems within the relationship, and more importantly, it takes a huge toll on your sense of self and self-esteem.

Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much? When you care too much, you inevitably become attached to a certain outcome.



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